I just looked at the last day I posted - Tuesday! It's been a week; how does that happen, and where did my week go? I thought I just missed a few days. Ugh. So here we go again with the habit. I've heard that it takes 28 days to create a habit and only two days to break it, so the 28 is what I'm going for for now.
I've been teaching VBS this week, and while teaching little ones music is not high on my priority list (if I'm honest, that's only because I have had a bit of an ugly attitude)nor is it in my skill set really, I have been SOOO blessed in doing this this week. It has been a really, really long time since I've worked with kids under 14, and I've had a ball seeing the different stages in their God-given development. My first group to come through every day is the 4th - 6th grade group. There are a few in this group who haven't developed the "every-one-is-looking-at-me-so-I-have-to-play-it-cool" disposition, but most of them have, and they're quieter, less willing to put themselves out there, more likely to comment, "Do we have to?" or "This is boring." Even in this stage, this age group makes me smile. They're quirky, and underneath the self-as-center-of-all-things cover, I think they still want to do the little kid fun stuff, because once in a while, when they get lost in the moment, they forget their constant negotiation of who they are, and they smile and have fun. I've been reminded this week that if I don't give their identity negotiating a second's worth of attention, they loose themselves in the moment much more quickly, and that is really fun to see.
My second group is the first through third grade group. I love these guys, too. They haven't yet moved into a full self-awareness. They're sharp (I'd forgotten how quickly they learn), and fun seems to come easy to them. I wish I could have just a small dose of their ability to have so much fun just being silly. It's sweet and life-giving to be around.
My third group is an adorable little group of Kindergartners and pre-schoolers. It is from these kiddos I have learned the most about joy this week. A friend of mine made the comment once that she found such a sweet, joyful simplicity in working with Alzheimers patients in the lock-down unit of a nursing home because, in her words, "all they have is today." For them, she said, there's no worry about planning for tomorrow; there's no concern for what they look like to others. Whatever memory in whatever time they happen to be in, mentally, is where they are, and that's it. She said she used to have such a sweet time just painting their nails and being a ethereal visitor to a phantom memory. This is kind of the same joy I've gotten from these kiddos this week. Of course human ugliness is still present as any Pre-K / Kindergarten teacher can attest, but there's also this beautiful containedness to their experience. Whatever is happening at that moment is where they are, fully and freely. It's like tomorrow is an idea that will come when it comes, but it's too far away for them to think about now. I think joy comes easier in this way, and in this way, I want to become more like a child because really, if we think about our worry, stress, and even our detailed plans for the future, it has the quality of an Alzheimers paitent's phantom memory which feels very real at the time, but which falls to dust as soon as we try to hold it. How much more free it is to enjoy our moments, to be fully present in them, blessing each other as we share them together?
Goodnight.
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